Early in the morning, before five o’clock, Mo Xueyao woke up. He is not yet a patient, sitting on this hospital bed, he always feels strange. He instinctively wanted to find water to drink, but suddenly remembered not to eat or drink before the operation, so he could only helplessly lick his dry lips and endure it.
“Why, can’t you sleep?” asked the mother, who was sleeping on the other bed in the separate room.
“Hey!” Mo Xueyao was taken aback, “Mom, why are you awake?”
“…I haven’t slept.” Mother yawned tiredly, “I can’t sleep when I think about you.”
“What are you worried about, so many experts, there will be no problem.”
“…I’m not worried about this.” The mother smiled and didn’t continue speaking, “I’ll try to sleep for a while, you remember not to drink water and eat.”
“Got it.” Mo Xueyao nodded, raised the temperature of the air conditioner a little, then lifted the quilt and climbed off the bed.
He was wearing a hospital gown now, which looked ugly and strange. Mo Xueyao walked to the window with low footsteps, and opened some heavy curtains. The magic capital at four o’clock. It doesn’t look like it’s so lively anymore. The streets are quiet, except for the occasional car passing by. Some of the neon lights in the city were still on, but the buildings were quiet. The neon lights that originally represented prosperity seemed a little lonely.
Mo Xueyao closed his eyes and imagined that this was a city without people. In other words, everyone else was asleep, and only he was awake. Somewhat bright but generally dark four in the morning, the window glass was like a mirror, reflecting his vague figure. In this blur, he suddenly felt that the reflection of himself in the glass was unfamiliar. It looked exactly like a girl.
“Is the hair already so long?” Mo Xueyao pinched his hair, the longest strand could already be placed on his shoulders.
Petite figure, snow-white skin, blurred but still can see the small facial features. It doesn’t look like a boy at all. This made him dazed for a while. As if everything before was a dream. I’m just about to wake up now. Mo Xueyao put his hand on his heart and felt that it was beating very fast.
“Girls… don’t want to do it… I don’t want to be a girl at all.” He felt a little pain in his heart, as if every time his heart beats, it hits a needle.
After all, I am still resisting, afraid, and confused. But what if you don’t.Reason told him that, in fact, this was the only result. But his sensibility made him resent such a choice.
“Either I was born a girl, or I’ve always been a boy, but it changed, and my life is like a joke.” He muttered to himself, clenching his fists hard, ” What are you doing… I just want to be an ordinary person, why are you joking with me like this?”
At this moment, he suddenly had the urge to destroy. He wanted to smash his fist on the window glass, and at this moment he couldn’t help thinking, if he was impulsive at this time, would he be like a man? But he didn’t hammer it down after all, maybe because he was afraid of the pain, or maybe because he couldn’t afford the money, in short, the clenched fist was released, and he leaned against the window weakly.
Somewhere, there is a hand that controls his destiny, but he is unable to resist. At this time, he probably felt that way. Time passed by and Mo Xueyao watched the sun slowly rise into the sky. Then it became brighter.
The night was dispelled, and all that remained was the dazzling light that made one squint. The morning sun today does not seem to be gentle. Mo Xueyao smiled bitterly and stretched. The door was knocked at this moment.
“Mo Xueyao, you can prepare. The operation will start in an hour.”
“Okay.” Mo Xueyao responded, and when he opened the door, the woman who came to inform, didn’t know whether it was a nurse or a doctor, had already left.
“Is it time to get up?” Mother asked with sleepiness, but what Mo Xueyao admired most about her was that as long as she needed to get up, she would definitely get up.
Even if you don’t sleep well at night, you won’t stay in bed.
“Mom, go to sleep, the surgery is none of your business anyway.”
“How can you say that, I have to wait outside – Xiaoyao, wash up first.”
“Understood—” Mo Xueyao replied weakly, dragging a long tone.
“Wash up well! Don’t just smear it twice like before! You’ll be a girl in the future, so be careful in everything you do!”
“Whoever rules that girls must be careful.” Mo Xueyao was very dissatisfied, “It’s not good to have a solid mindset.”
“In any case, you must pay attention to personal hygiene! If you can’t wash it yourself, I will wash it for you!”
“No need, no need, can’t I just take a good shower!” Mo Xueyao shouted helplessly, and washed up seriously.
‘He’ usually brushes her teeth twice back and forth, but today ‘h’e brushed for three minutes. ‘He’ only washed ‘his’ face twice on weekdays, but today ‘he’ changed the water three times.
It’s okay to do this once in a while, but if you do this every day…
‘He’ felt troubled to death. A one-minute thing takes seven or eight minutes to complete—what a waste of time. But today, after a careful grooming, ‘He’ felt that ‘he’ really is a lot cleaner and more refreshing than usual.
‘How should I put it, looks like a pure female student…’
Mo Xueyao pinched the corners of ‘his’ eyes and threw this thought out of ‘his’ mind. What’s going on, just now, ‘he’ seemed to like the person in the mirror a little bit.
‘Hey, what are you doing, you haven’t finished the operation yet.’
However, after the operation, the appearance does not seem to have a changed. After all, the face is not operated on – but with the passage of time, the normal development of the body should still produce some changes, right?
The waiting time was passed by the novels brought from home.
Until the surgery officially begins.
“Xiaoyao, come here, just lie on the bed.” Dr. Wang smiled kindly.
Seeing so many doctors in the operating room, Mo Xueyao’s heart was inexplicably uneasy.
It made him feel like a guinea pig to be experimented with.
“Relax, except for the first injection of anaesthesia, it won’t hurt.” Dr. Wang put on a green mask and said with a smile.
Different from Mo Xueyao’s fixed impression, the doctors were not wearing white coats, but green coats, green hats and green masks. They were all fully covered and nothing but a pair of eyes could be seen.
It was only by his voice that ‘he’ could tell that Dr. Wang was here. A pair of soft and delicate hands were placed on his waist, and then the hands slowly took off ‘his’ pants. From the feel of the hand, it should be a female doctor.
The lower body was shown naked in front of the surgeons.
Dr. Wang seems to be the chief surgeon of this operation, but it seems that there is another doctor of the same level as him, pointing with his fingers, as if discussing something.
Mo Xueyao’s face flushed red, ‘his’ blood vessels swelled and ‘his’ heartbeat accelerated a lot. With so many people ‘frankly meeting’ at once, he was so shy that he wanted to find a hole to burrow into. Then, his legs were placed on a strange piece of equipment, and the legs placed on it would naturally separate. That way, even if ‘he’s’ too shy to want to get together, there’s nothing ‘he’ can do.
“Well, that’s right.” Dr. Wang said with a serious face.
“It’s time to start.” Another doctor said solemnly.
The others seemed to be acting as deputy and started to get busy. However, not everyone is busy, and some people seem to be here to observe and learn. Otherwise, there would not be more than ten doctors in an operating room.
“Hi–” Suddenly, Mo Xueyao felt a tingling pain in his thigh, as if an anaesthesia needle had been injected into his body.
“If you’re sleepy, just sleep for a while, don’t be nervous.” Dr. Wang patted his head gently, “Get some oxygen, it will be more comfortable.”
The female doctor on the side nodded and put an oxygen mask over Mo Xueyao’s mouth and nose. Mo Xueyao took a deep breath and felt as if he was floating all of a sudden. Even the air in the deep mountains was not full of oxygen. In a daze, it seemed that some sleepiness struck.
He took a lot of inhalation in a row, not even realizing that the operation had begun. The effects of anaesthesia and the effects of oxygen inhalation were revealed. Mo Xueyao looked at the pair of eyes staring at ‘him’, ‘his’ eyelids couldn’t hold it anymore, and ‘he’ slowly closed ‘his’ eyes as if being hypnotized. But this sleep is not so comforting, there is always such a feeling of unwillingness. In a daze, ‘he’ could hear the conversations of the doctors, some clearly, some not at all.
“It’s the right size, it’s small and it fits.”
“Just make an opening here.”
“Be careful, there must be no problem with the nerves over there, otherwise the patient will be inconvinient for life.”
“Oh! This hidden place is surprisingly beautiful.”
“Yeah, we don’t need to make an extra one at all, just move it in.”
“Is there a passage in there?”
“Yes, go from the inside, be careful, wait a minute, change a pair of tweezers, take this one to re-sterilize.”
“Fine, fine, that’s it.”
“This side is directly sewed on the top.”
“Yes, try not to leave scars.”
“Don’t worry, just use imported materials.”
“You have to wrap it with a bandage here.”
“The patient is leaking urine.”
“It’s okay, just take the urine bag, be careful, don’t push too hard, it’s still fragile there.”
“Huh, medicine is really a miracle of mankind.”
“Haha, young man, there are many miracles, not just in medicine!”
Amid the relaxed laughter, Mo Xueyao fell into a deeper sleep…